Ignacio looks to be in his late 30's, very intelligent, and most observantly, part Asian. He was rather flustered when he came to see the apartment, and I knew, from that observation, that this was going to be the guy. He was by himself, hurried, anxious, and ready to put pen to paper. He barely even looked at the place.
He had me at "hello". He really did. Ignacio, like me, is a man who isn't really interested in shopping around. Standards are foreign to Ignacio and he knows all too well how to pull a trigger. He is me.
After Ignacio saw the apartment for the first time, he informed me that he would be leaving the city around the time of his move-in date. Long story short, he was asking permission to move not some, but all of his things in before I even move out. This did not make me happy and would be the only time I ever felt as though I didn't like Ignacio.
Dave, you remember Dave, right? Hank's Hasidic realtor friend? Well Dave is the man who brought Ig into my life. Still very intimidated by Hank ("Is the cat away?"), Dave crept slowly into my apartment, avoided the back of the apartment (where Hank was, mind you), blitzkrieged the showing ("There is bathroom there, bedroom is here, and another bedroom back there. Are you okay with cat? There's a cat back there. Don't let him out!") and scurried out, unknowingly setting up two potential roommates.
About 15 minutes after they left I received a text message from Ig, inquiring about gas/heat usage during the explicitly cold winter months. Another 15 minutes went by and the door bell rang. It was he who is me. I wanted to get irritated by this unannounced visit, but something about the innocent character of this man made it impossible for me to do so.
We sat and talked about the hood, the amenities, life, and literature, until we were interrupted by the villainous Diego. Diego is one of the many brokers vying for the much sought after "fee". He is the only one who just shows up. The rest of the brokers at least have the courtesy of giving me very little notice.
A very uncool and slightly uncouth Johnny Depp, but of latin decent, is Diego. He walks...excuse me...he slugs around arrogantly, rhythmically shifting his hips from side to side. He respects only himself and comes off as being quite lazy. One of his appointments showed up once, sans Diego, and vented his frustrations to me on the absence of Diego. He had been stood up once before by this latin loser and was being stood up as we spoke.
"I just want to schedule an appointment with him and when he shows up, just punch him in his [explicit material] face," uttered the appointment.
I opened the door and as soon as I saw Diego's stupid, smug (and silly) face, I let it be known that Ignacio, who was standing right behind me---fists possibly clinched---had just claimed the apartment that Diego was about to show. I told him that he could still look at the apartment, but it would be all for naught. Visibly angered by the news of the apartment's overtaking, he chose to enter anyway.
Diego:"Who rented the apartment to you? The owner?'
Me and Ignacio (in unison): "Dave."
Diego: "I don't know Dave. I just know the owner, Abe."
Me: "Well, he (pointing to Ignacio) just signed and paid the fee. Don't you guys communicate with each other?"
Diego: "I only talk to the owner. What does this Dave look like? Is he a Hasid?"
Ignacio: "Yes."
Diego: "Grayer?" (meaning: older)
Ignacio: "No, he's young."
Me: "Why don't you just call Dave and figure out what's going on? Ignacio will give you his number."
Diego: "I only talk to the owner, I will call him."
After Diego and his appointment departed, I suggested to Ignacio that a phone call mos' definitely needed to be made, post haste. Ig informed Dave of his run-in with El Diablo and demanded a little clarification on the situation. Dave convinced Ig that there wasn't an issue and that the place was as good as claimed.
After Dave and Ignacio rang off, Ig and I exchanged numbers and vaguely discussed the possibility of living together. I told him that I was still waiting to receive word on my future residence and once that happened, if it is a "go", we can get him in here before the 1st of the month. To which he replied: "I will be looking for a roommate too."
I will keep that in mind, Ignacio.
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